WTF EC Mombie?

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Q: What happens when a group of EC idiots come together?

A: A bunch of babies shitting and pissing all over the city.  Oh, and this article:

“With the warmer weather coming, Caribou Baby’s owner Adriane Stare — who held her bare-bottomed baby Loren atop a cloth diaper as she whispered “sissss” to him to cue a pee during the discussion — told the group she’d soon open the center’s backyard to let babies roam diaper-free outside.”

There. Are. No. Words. 😯

But The Stir came up with a pretty good response:

“I’m right back to thinking that this is a truly crazy trend. Because if you’re happy to let your child take a non-diapered dump AT A RESTAURANT TABLE … well, I’m sorry, your lifestyle choices are infringing on my right to eat a non-feces-scented salad and THAT’S NOT OKAY.”

BOTTOM LINE: …what the fuck is wrong with these people?!

You shit where you eat.

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Facebook Fact Check

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The following image has been circulating Facebook:


FACT:

If the server’s hourly wages come up to less than minimum wage, the employer is legally required to make up the difference.  Which means no server is going to walk away with less than $7.25 an hour — frequently more, depending on the state in which they are employed.  Nearly half the states have a higher minimum wage than is federally required.

Two-Thirds of a Pickle Spear

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So you’re always hearing about how restaurant portions are out of control, right?  I mean, I’ll go to California Pizza Kitchen, order a half-sized BBQ chopped salad, and be blown away by the amount of food they put in front of me.  But what about commercially-packaged foods, especially the heavily-processed and carb-laden stuff like cookies, crackers, pasta, etc?  Has anyone ever actually taken a look at what constitutes a serving?

Seven corn chips or one-eighth of a box of spaghetti?  Two-thirds of a pickle spear?  Eight miniature silver-dollar-sized pancakes?  One-tenth of a box of muffin mix when the end product yields twenty-four muffins?  Are you seriously fucking kidding me?  And have you ever seen how tiny the individual serving packets of instant oatmeal are?

These are perfect portion sizes for toddlers, but are in no way realistic for anyone over the age of six.  It pisses me off when manufacturers intentionally label their products to make them seem healthier than they actually are.  I mean, do they seriously think their consumers are THAT stupid, or are they counting on people not reading the labels?

I happen to be an ultra label-scrutinizer, but occasionally some things do escape me.  For instance, a few weeks ago I bought a box of gluten-free macaroni & cheese from Wegmans.  I’m not one for pasta (let alone mac & cheese) but I figured it wouldn’t hurt to keep it around for the sake of variety.  After giving it the quick once-over, I saw that there were 325 calories per serving, and three servings per box.  (To be fair, it was a fairly large box.)

Anyway, my cupboard is pretty bare right now cuz I haven’t been to the store (I ended up eating taco shells for breakfast), so I figured it was time to break out the mac & cheese.  It wasn’t until I’d boiled the water and actually opened the damned box that I realized the entire mix yielded only a single cup.  WTF??  First off, a thousand calories for a cup of anything is just ridiculous.  But more importantly, to claim three servings per box is absolutely misleading, and to package these two tiny little envelopes (pasta and sauce) up  such a gigantic box is nothing short of deceptive.

Yeah, I’m bitter because I ate it.  ALL of it.  I was hungry and out of taco shells.  And I’m now about to drag myself out to the store, if only to burn off some of these friggin’ calories.

But seriously, folks — two-thirds of a pickle spear?  Come on, already!

Someone Honestly Posted This in a “Cute Baby” Thread

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I don’t normally bother sharing ugly baby pics (because there are just so damned many of them all over the mombie message boards), but I felt obligated to post this one, seeing that this marks the very first time I’ve actually cried out in shock at the sight of an ugly baby:

Besides the schnoz and the receding hairline, this baby has all sorts of broken blood vessels in its eyes — hence the mention of eyes “clearing up.”

Mother. of. God.

EDIT: Because the mother of this snuffaluffagus keeps posting repeated updates (i.e., she’s conquered the fucking thread):

A dead-ringer for John Goodman.  It seems to grow less ugly as you look at it, but that may just be because I like John Goodman.