Hellblazer TV Adaptation

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Just watched NBC’s Constantine pilot and I have to say, the decision to axe the female lead (who couldn’t play the role to save her soul) after the first episode was an act of outright mercy.  The possessed humans were unoriginal and unconvincing, both in appearance and in mannerism.  (WTF were they supposed to be, deadites?) Constantine wasn’t enough of a bastard, and Chas’s American accent just fucked with my head.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: “mature” comics do NOT translate well into regular network television, and this couldn’t be more true of titles featuring a chain-smoking, lecherous exorcism junkie who unintentionally brings death and destruction down upon anyone unlucky enough to be acquainted with him.

Oh, and they totally fucked up Newcastle.

On the bright side, my assumption that it would be exceedingly better than the 2005 Keanu Reeves flick proved correct.  Then again, watching a caged monkey eat its own excrement would prove exceedingly better than the Constantine movie. Watching vultures tear out my own liver would be preferable as well.