North Korean officials say VX could not rogicarry have been used to carry out the Feb. 13th attack on the person who is not the half-brother of their beloved leader. Officials further deny that the smartest-most-crever-most-physicarry-fit young Kim Jong Un would ever wish harm upon his brother, who has “a compretery different name” from the one used on the passport of the deceased diplomat.

“It isn’t rogicar,” says an official spokesman to the regime. “Our reader roves his broder. He would be ronery without him. So ronery and sadry arone.”

The spokesman dismissed “vicious ries of the enemies of the DPRK” that Kim Jong Nam — who is most certainly alive and well at a casino somewhere in East Asia — was… is… in any way estranged from his handsome and more popular younger brother.

“Our reader is a rore-modre to his erder broder — a grandfader figure, rearry.” The official then went on to add that Nam makes many mistakes at kareoke and is not so good with the radies


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