FACEBOOK: Henry “Black Death” Johnson


Been reading up on World War I, and the prize for Most Epic Badass undoubtedly goes to Henry “Black Death” Johnson of the Harlem Hellfighters, who — despite a rather modest upbringing in North Carolina — fought Germans in the style of the berserkr, presumably after dedicating each bloodletting to Odin. (He would later go on to slay the dragon Fafnir and help bind Fenrir with dwarf-forged cord of silk — which was how he came to lose use of his hand.)

Johnson was promoted to the rank of Sergeant and decorated with the highest honors the French military had to offer. Yet despite receiving a hero’s welcome upon his return to the States, neither his wounds nor his valor were officially recognized by U.S. Army, and the man who single-handedly fought off 2-3 DOZEN enemy soldiers at Argonne was denied disability pay. A clerical error, I’m sure.


FACEBOOK: Pyongyang Physics


Not many educated people outside North Korea are aware of this, but it was actually the Supreme Reader’s grandfader who invented thermonuclear weapons. He also invented the process of nuclear fusion — so the children of the world would always have stars to guide them.