Woke, Crippled Barbie

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‪These. Are. AWESOME!!!!‬

‪I’m buying the entire set for my son, but only after ze finishes transitioning to a daughter.‬ 😎👌

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Facebook: Monotremes

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Anyone who would consider monotremes “primitive” mammals has clearly never suffered the indignities of pregnancy or GERD.  Platypodes in particular have special abilities the rest of us can only dream of — including the ability to commune directly with the Force.

If I ever realize my dream of having a pet platypus, I’m going to call him Obi-Wan.  He’ll reside in ••••’s bathroom and wear little booties around the house until he can be trained to shank only intruders and sworn enemies.

FACEBOOK: Segway

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It only just now occurred to me how greatly my quality of living would be improved through ownership of a segway.

Preferably one that would drive itself, leaving me free to engage in other leisurely activities.

And it would obviously have to be programmed to sacrifice pedestrians should the safety of its passenger ever become compromised.

I could even get a bell to let people know when I am near. Or better yet, a foghorn.