Journos Are a Special Kind of Stupid


My god, I just finished listening to the Rose Garden press conference and it was an astonishing blend of hysteria and stupidity.  Womxyzn were shrieking wild accusations at the Orange Man, and one guy seriously wanted to know if they have plans to research why people over the age of 80 are hit the hardest — “which is something we’ve never seen before”.

Dead silence for ten seconds before someone tenderly explained that the elderly are “less robust” than young people. 🤦🏻‍♀️

This is why we have so many mentally unstable boomer womxyzn screaming at the sky and #resisting Drumph — they’re being programmed by unhinged morons.

Go back to your soap operas, ladies — PLEASE!!

I R-bot


Yesterday someone accused me of pushing a socialist agenda because I posted a meme that wasn’t about socialism.

The day before I was a Russian bot because I tend to favor user pics of sentient-looking pastries.

Currently suffering a crisis of identity. Could I be some kind of robot left over from the cold war…?

FACEBOOK: Mattress Cover


The pillow-topped mattress cover stands among the 21st century’s most nefarious inventions. Sure, it’s machine washable — only then it takes three and a half days’ worth of tumble drying (while you’re stuck reciting the necessary incantations out of the Necronomicon Ex Mortis in properly-accented Kandarian) before it’s ready to go back on.

Also, I’m about 40% certain that ••••’s is made out of human flesh. (It came to us from an old folks’ home, along with my grandmother’s haunted mattress.)