Category Archives: Lamentations
The Weather Gods Are Trying to Kill Me
0I R-bot
0Yesterday someone accused me of pushing a socialist agenda because I posted a meme that wasn’t about socialism.
The day before I was a Russian bot because I tend to favor user pics of sentient-looking pastries.
Currently suffering a crisis of identity. Could I be some kind of robot left over from the cold war…?
FACEBOOK: Mattress Cover
0The pillow-topped mattress cover stands among the 21st century’s most nefarious inventions. Sure, it’s machine washable — only then it takes three and a half days’ worth of tumble drying (while you’re stuck reciting the necessary incantations out of the Necronomicon Ex Mortis in properly-accented Kandarian) before it’s ready to go back on.
Also, I’m about 40% certain that ••••’s is made out of human flesh. (It came to us from an old folks’ home, along with my grandmother’s haunted mattress.)