My kid just discovered that women have the longer life expectancies. His proposed solution? You got it. #TransKids
Coffee = anti-zombie potion.
[My Kid] = true believer.
Reading nursery rhymes with ••:
ME: “Tom, Tom, the piper’s son, he learned to play when he was young. And all the tune that he could play was Over the Hills and Far Away.”
•••• [excited]: “He’s playing Nightwish, Mommy! He’s playing Nightwish with Marco and Tarja!”
To be fair, the Over the Hills single was recorded while Sammi was still in the band. But I didn’t expect my child to know that.
We’ve had quite the infestation of bad monsters in Mommy’s closet as of late. We’ve tried ordering them away, getting the good monsters who live in ••••’s closet to order them away — hell, •••• even threatened to EAT the monsters last night if they didn’t go away — but to no avail.
So now ••’s come up with an ingenious plot to PAY OFF the monsters so that they’ll leave Mommy’s closet once and for all. If bribery doesn’t work, I don’t know what will.