I was at the mall with my kid earlier, and while we were walking back to the car a gaggle of the most geeky-looking teenage boys pulled up alongside us and asked, “Excuse me, did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?”
I kept a straight face, raised my skirt high enough for them to see my scars (from knee to hip) and replied, “Yeah, it did. In fact, I hit the ground so hard that I shattered my femur and needed total leg reconstruction from the knee up.”
The looks on their faces were priceless.
Aaand a month after my leg was expected to have healed, it’s still only partially healed. (I should have had these X-rays a month ago, but I had to reschedule because of stuff with my kid.) The bottom part has fused with the cadaver bone, but the top part hasn’t fused at all. My doctor was stunned. We’re guessing it’s probably due to the Ehlers-Danlos, even though that tends to affect soft tissues more than bone. He said it’s possible I may never heal, and we’ll have to do a bone graft between my hip bone and the cadaver bone. Right now the plan is to give it another two months (while doing these bizarre electromagnetic therapies) and then schedule a bone graft if the x-rays don’t look any better.
On top of that, my knee keeps slipping out of the joint, perhaps half a dozen times per day. It all started after my kid accidentally kicked be under the table while my legs were crossed, although my doctor (same doc — orthopaedic oncologist) doesn’t think it’s really related. He says it’s likely due to the EDS as well, heightened by the fact that the joint is so damned atrophied. I reminded him that I have Type 1 EDS as opposed to Type 3 (in which joint subluxations are common), but he says he’s “not overly concerned” because the x-rays look good and it’s happening below the area he’d operated on. Well, I’m concerned. It hurts like a motherfuck every time it happens.
I was finally discharged today after three weeks in three different hospitals and one nursing home. I fell on February 15th, broke my femur completely IN HALF, and as a bonus was diagnosed with BONE CANCER. I go back in for another surgery on the 18th.
We live in a second-floor apartment, and my wheelchair is no match for the 19 steps it takes to get up there, so for the time being, my son and I will be staying with my parents.
Here’s a side-view of my right leg:
They sliced me open, scooped out a tumor the approximate size and shape of a facehugger, cut out the surrounding cartilage, bone, and muscle before stapling me back up.
The red dot you see near my Self-Made Man tattoo is from the screw they put in to keep my leg from falling completely apart, and the red dot to the right of the staples was used for post-op drainage — blood, lymphatic fluids, etc.
A set of x-rays taken of my lower body showed “significant deterioration” (their words — not mine) in both hips, so I have a feeling the bone scan will turn up even more fun stuff. 😦
My Grandmother has been hospitalized with heart failure, I’m in a nursing home, and my parents are basically raising my child.
It’s been twelve days since my hair has been washed, twelve days since I’ve last eaten, and I really, REALLY have to pee.
Now I find out that the nursing home doesn’t actually have a pharmacy at its disposal; it takes time to order and receive prescriptions.
And the nurse’s assistant spilled the contents of the bedpan all over my skirt AND the bed. She put a pad over the bed and said they’d change the sheets tomorrow. The skirt she threw in with my clean clothes.
And these motherfuckers are supposed to reteach me how to walk?
To top it all off, I have a roommate. More on that later, I’m sure.
So I fell and broke my femur in half on Saturday evening, which led to the discovery of bone cancer. I’ll write about it when I’m feeling a little better and am NOT being kept severely dehydrated. Lots of “WTF Nurse?!” stories to share.
Yeah, I’m just gonna come out and say it: I’m at the hospital with my femur broken clean in half. Took a fall last night, and it turns out “my bad knee” isn’t arthritic; it’s a tumor. Can’t tell whether it’s benign until after they’ve done exploratory surgery.
EDITOR’S NOTE: Benign tumors don’t eat your fucking femur.