FACEBOOK: Thanksgiving

0

I am thankful for Bruce Campbell, Stuart Devenie, Stephen Papps, and Verne Troyer for their heartfelt performances in that holiday masterpiece of American patriotism, “One, Two, Three: Give Me Lady Liberty.”

If you have not seen this episode of Jack of All Trades — a highly-educational historical docuseries brought to you by The Three Sages (Tapert, Raimi, and Campbell) — it means you are a bad American and probably get most of your “History” from reading textbooks.

FACEBOOK: Evil Dead TV Series

0

The Three Sages are at it again! Evil Dead series for the Stars network has apparently begun filming in NZ (duh) with Tapert’s phenomenally talented and STILL drop-dead gorgeous wife to star alongside The King for the first time in nearly FIFTEEN YEARS! A most legendary (and groovy) pairing indeed.

So strap on those chainsaws, grab your boomsticks, and get ready to hail to the King — and the Warrior Princess too!

Evil Dead

0

I refuse to watch the Evil Dead remake.

1) The trailers looked horrible.

2) Dead by Dawn was a “remake” of the first Evil Dead anyway.

3) No Bruce Campbell.

4) Sam Raimi didn’t direct.

5) No Bruce Campbell.

6) No Ted Raimi, because Sam Raimi didn’t direct.

7) No one but Bruce Campbell is worthy of playing Ash.

8) No Ash.

9) I hate horror movies about college kids, unless they involve Bruce Campbell.

10) Why remake perfection?