FACEBOOK: Fundraiser

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Facebook keeps bugging me to set up a fundraiser even though my next birthday is another year away.  So here’s my effing fundraiser:

Go to this site and donate all your money to this wonderful gentleman who is working to spread global awareness about the greatest threat humanity has ever faced.

If you fail to participate in my un-birthday fundraiser, I’ll just have to assume you’re one of THEM.

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FACEBOOK: Upcoming Birthday

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My birthday is coming up, but rather than hopping on the Facebook fundraiser bandwagon, I’d like to do things a little differently.

Instead of asking you to throw pocket change at a charity of my choosing (top candidate = stopabductions.com), I’m asking you to keep your money in your pocket and get up off your ass — unless you’re in a wheelchair — and actually DO something to help make the world a slightly better place.

It doesn’t have to be anything major: treat a friend to lunch, or surprise them with a little gift.  Offer your seat on the Metro to someone who looks tired.  Pick up trash you find along the beach instead of posting a picture of it to Instagram.  Pick up the phone and call an aging relative, just to let them know you care.  Fact check before reposting.

Or if you really want to spend a bit of cash (and aren’t bothered by the fact that kindness is not tax deductible), try offering limited financial assistance to an ACTUAL human being in need — covering the cost of a prescription refill, hearing aid, groceries, etc.  Even if your offer is declined, the spirit of it will not go unappreciated.

FACEBOOK: Dreamcatcher That Couldn’t

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Grandpa has been donating money to some Native American elementary school for years, and every Christmas without fail they send him some token of appreciation, handcrafted by the (ridiculously talented, Jesus Christ!) children, whom I of course long ago dubbed The Little Injuns That Could.  (Grandpa says I’m an asshole.)

This year they sent Grandpa a dreamcatcher keychain, which he in turn gave to ••••.  When •• showed it to me last night, I smiled and replied, “What a coincidence!” (vocab word), and I raised my shirt a bit to let him see that I happened to be wearing a dreamcatcher navel ring.

A few minutes later, I hear frustrated noises coming from the living room and walk in to discover my son attempting to hook the damned thing onto his own belly button, totally bewildered as to “WHY WON’T IT STAY??