WTF DID I JUST WATCH?!

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I’ve just witnessed the most disgusting and depraved ‘funny” baby video I have ever seen on YouTube.  It’s so bad that I cannot even bring myself to post the link.  Only 37 seconds long, it makes the shitty baby video seem heartwarmingly adorable by comparison.

It begins with a spread-eagled, presumably EC’d baby being “pooped” by a woman (presumably mom) over an open diaper.  An older child of perhaps two is clearly distressed by this sight, and her mother laughs and jokes as the kid freaks the fuck out.  The cameraman (I’m assuming Dad) can be heard teasing the toddler in the background.

Both parents are clearly fascinated by the infant’s defecation, and only the two-year-old’s reaction suggests an iota of intelligence.  The parents cheer the shitting baby on while the little girl cries and holds some sort of surgical mask over the lower half of her face.  Dad then begins snarkily cheering on the little girl, encouraging her to stare at her baby sister’s private parts as the poop works its way out of the infant’s ass.

The video ends with a hairy, overweight old man appearing in the doorway in nothing but a pair of boxer shorts.  I honestly wouldn’t be surprised if he’d paid for an hour with one (or both) of the children.

I’m not a fan of censorship, but I’m even LESS of a fan of children being victimized — especially by their own parents.  The baby may have been blissfully unaware of its surroundings, but the little girl was clearly being subjected to a sickening situation which her parental units seemed to find hilarious.  I reported the video to YouTube, though I’m sure it could be argued that it remains within their terms of service, as baby vag no longer seems to qualify as nudity these days — at least not on Facebook or Youtube.)

Why do people upload this shit?!  Do they find it cute?  Do they think it’s funny?  And don’t give me that, “We only put it up so Great Aunt Ethyl could enjoy these most-precious moments of our little snowflake’s existence.”  Aunt Ethyl doesn’t want to see that shit any more than the rest of us — unless the reason she can’t actually come and visit your snowflake Neveah (and witness these “precious moments” for herself) is that the State will not permit her within 50 yards of a child on account of her having previously viewed/filmed/directed/starred in “precious moments” of your first child (or someone else’s).

Besides, it doesn’t take uploading what is essentially child porn onto YouTube to keep in touch with friends and extended family.  That’s why we have Facebook — and STFU Parents.

NOTE: If you haven’t already bought Blair’s Book,  I highly recommended it as 101 on the world of parenting overshare via social media.  (There’s more to it than poop and baby vag; I promise.)

Wet or Dry-Nursing Your Adopted Preschooler is Sexual Abuse

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Wow, here’s a new one: extended nursing a toddler and/or preschooler who has never before been breastfed.  These are children who were not nursed in infancy, yet they are suddenly finding nipples being thrust into their mouths as their brand-new mothers instruct them to suck and swallow.  The lactivists call this nursing; I call it sexual abuse.

When I first heard about this relatively new phenomenon, I figured a couple of sexual predators must have weaseled their way into the foster care system, but that CPS would soon nab these monsters and find their victims better homes.  Alas, it is apparently legal for a woman to adopt a child and then stick her nipple in its mouth as a means of “bonding.”  Not only is this practice considered a legitimate form of breastfeeding, but La Leche League actually encourages it.  (Really, why the hell am I surprised?)

Here are a couple examples from the La Leche League forums:

This woman clearly has issues. Infertility can be a painful ordeal, especially for women (and men) who dream of having biological children.  It can even become a source of embarrassment for those who feel as if their infertility somehow makes them “less” of a man or a woman — if not straight-out inferior to those who are able to reproduce.  (NOTE: these people have managed to reproduce.)  Yet this woman’s inferiority complex evidently runs so deep that she lashes out against ‘the normals’ in her introductory post — or as she so eloquently describes them, “fertile/nursing-oops we’re pregnant again-oblivious-insensitive-babies-popping-out-all-over-the-place-mamas.”   Yeah, I’m sure the mamas of La Leche League are just lining up to become OP’s friend.

Look, it’s one thing to breastfeed your adopted baby.  Breastfeeding a newborn you carried yourself can be difficult enough, so I can only imagine how much more of a challenge it would be to induce and maintain a steady milk supply without the benefit of postpartum hormones.  Women who successfully feed their infants this way ought to be admired for their dedication.  But to induce lactation purely for the sake of “bonding” with an older child?!  If this woman wanted a baby, she should have adopted a fucking baby.  Of course, anyone who believes bonding with a three-year-old requires sticking a nipple in their mouth probably doesn’t belong adopting anyway.

Make no mistake.  There is nothing inherently wrong with nursing a twelve-month-old.  Babies require either breast milk or formula as their primary source of nutrition during the latter six months of infancy, and you could hardly expect an exclusively breastfed baby to be weaned overnight.  But to initiate a “nursing relationship” with a twelve-month-old (premature or not) for non-nutritive purposes is indeed sexual exploitation.

This woman clearly doesn’t give a damn whether the child had been previously breastfed, nor does she care enough to find out.  All that matters here is that she wants to breastfeed.

Once again, these are children who were not previously breastfed, — children who do not require breast milk (or formula) as a source of nutrition — being told to latch onto their new mommy’s boob, stimulate her nipple with their tongue, suck, swallow, and repeat.  While the majority of these children have been thrust into completely new environments with total strangers — which is certainly traumatic enough without being sexual abused — a some of these kids have been living with their families for years.  Case in point:  (Click to enlarge.)

This little girl came to them at five months.  She was adopted two and a half years later at the age of three.  But before you conclude that this poor child must be a recently-adopted three-year-old, consider this woman’s lament: “My daughter is interested in nursing and I wish I’d started sooner.”

First of all, how does a child of any age just suddenly become interest in nursing — let alone an autistic child with severe emotional problems?  Moreover, while this woman is intentionally vague on the age of the child — “Emotionally she’s about 3.  Intellectually she’s about 6.  I think it’s safe to conclude that this kid is at least six years old and possibly older;  The child in the picture, whom I am assuming to be “DD” looks to be about eight or nine years old… and Mom hasn’t even logged into her account since a month after this post was made.  😯

If her three-year-old were emotionally three and intellectually six, you’d think this woman would be celebrating.  (But possibly still wanting to pop out a boobie in place of Champagne.)

Alas, it gets worse.  Much, much worse.  Here is a link to the original thread.  This is just a taste (sorry!) of the advice she is offered:

Mom2Mom: “…I don’t know how I would get domperidone without a dr. but what about nursing minus the actual milk if you can’t?  you could have a special chair or something and ask her if she wants to nurse and maybe hold her like she’s nursing or like when someone “bottle nurses”, even skin to skin or whatever you both feel good about.”

SundayCrepes: “I agree about trying the nursing without milk… I am currently nursing my 3 year old (she turned 3 last week.) I stopped taking the dom in March. I don’t know if I’m making any milk at this time. We nurse throughout the day.”

tiffani: I comfort nurse my adopted 2 and 4 year old kiddos (home with us at 16 mos and 3.5 yrs) and have no milk, but they enjoy the experience.

The award for best lactating sexual predator goes to Tiffani for initiating a dry-nursing relationship with an adopted toddler AND a preschooler.  The fact that she managed to get one for each boob is simply astounding.  Here’s hoping you’ve since made it onto the Sex Offender Registry, Tiff.

CP on FB

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If parents who post nude photographs of their babies and children on Facebook are going to claim that newborn “apricot balls,” “hamburger,” or pictures of a spread-eagled baby girl aren’t sexual, then they really ought to quit sexually objectifying their children.  “Look at my little Nevaeh’s vagina!  Isn’t it cute as a button!  And she’s so gosh-darn flexible.  Her future sex partners are sure going to be pleased!”

Unless they’re actually flattered by the notion of an Internet pedophile fapping to pictures of their babies.  Come to think of it, I can’t think of a better LEGAL way to share softcore child porn than what these parents are doing.

I suppose the only thing worse is when they put this shit up on YouTube.  Caution: this video is nothing but 3:03 of newborn vag, and I’m posting it solely to drive home my point.