FACEBOOK: Bye, Bye, Buttercup


Buttercup is to be euthanized within the hour. We’ve had that sweet little girl for just a few weeks shy of sixteen years, which would make her approximately eighteen years old. Emmet made it to just two days shy of his seventeenth birthday. I’ll say this of my mother: she takes damned good care of her pets.

Ev and I said our goodbyes last night. He seems to be taking things considerably well. I think it helped to be upfront with him and just stick to the facts, rather sugarcoating the whole affair with fluffy euphamisms and/or mystical ramblings. It took my parents a good two years to finally admit that the evil preschooler-mauling chow-chow they’d buried in the backyard was actually dead instead of “just sleeping”. (I lived in terror of the day Mr. Sulu would return to finish me off. I swear, that creature had to have been half chow, half bear, and half pig. Chowbearpig.)

Bye-bye, Buttercup — my canine Power Puff Girl. I miss you already.

Riddick and Doggie at Un-Furya


The First 30 Minutes of Riddick: Rule the Dark
Retold in the Tamarian language:

Children of Necro.
Son of Furya.
Shaka, when the walls fell!
Darmok on the Ocean.
Zinda, his face black, his eyes red.
Kadir beneath Mo Moteh.
Darmok and Jalad at Tanagra.
The beast at Tanagra.
Uzani, his army with fists open.
Uzani, his army with fists closed.
Sokath, his eyes uncovered!
Picard and Dathon at El-Adrel.
Temba, his arms wide open.

Riddick and Doggie at Un-Furya.

Guide to Responsible Pitbull Ownership


1. Don’t have children or small dogs.

2. If you’re going to get a second dog, don’t get a second pit bull.

3. You need to have your own home with a yard large enough for the dog to run around in and a fence high enough to contain it. In areas that disallow privacy fences, a pit bull obviously isn’t an option.

4. If you have visitors over, keep the dog locked in a bedroom unless/until your visitors are made to understand the risks involved and agree to have it roam free.

5. No kids allowed over unless the dog is safety secured in a bedroom and cannot escape. PERIOD.

6. Take precautions to make sure the dog doesn’t escape from the house. Secure in the hall bathroom or closet before answering the door. Don’t open the garage door until the door inside is shut.

7. During walks, keep the dog away from other dogs. Use a choke collar, and keep it on a leash appropriate for its weight. Do not let anyone pet your dog.

8. Don’t allow the dog on the couch or the bed. The moment you do, you’re setting yourself up for a future struggle over dominance.

9. Keep the dog locked up at night. No used taking precautions during the day and getting eaten while you sleep.

10. In the unfortunate event that your dog does bite someone, take responsibility. Pay the victim’s medical expenses and put the dog down. Now that it has tasted human flesh, it will inevitably bite again.

I’m not trying to write a textbook here, but a lot of this common-sense crap is just lost on people.

Happy Face


I like dogs that always look like they’re happy.  Seeing a dog grin ear to ear like this, especially in the face of adversity (during thunderstorms, after unsuccessfully apprehending a squirrel, being locked outside on a hot day) both serves to inspire me in my future endeavors and replenish my confidence in a benevolent universe.

What the fuck am I doing up this late?