This is terrifying to me. Putting aside the issue of crimethink, I was stuck in a hospital (and later nursing home) for a number of weeks because I required 24/7 palliative care. Between the pain itself and the incredible amount of Dilaudid they had to keep circulating through my system even as I slept, I was completely out of my goddamned mind. I couldn’t make my own medical decisions because much of the time I was delirious, and even when I seemed alert, I had very little grasp on what was happening to me. (I refused food for a full two weeks, all the while complaining that the nurses were starving me.)
My short term memory was shot (I ended up being blessed with permanent amnesia), and I was an absolute fucking bitch, screaming all sorts of abusive things at every female who came in contact with me. (Yes, just the women, apparently.)
I didn’t know what the hell I was doing. I’m normally the world’s most charismatic patient, but between the pain and the drugs and the trauma (both physical and emotional), I was an absolute hellion to the poor people at the hospital. (From what I understand, the nursing home staff deserved me.)
I didn’t have any mental health issue to help account for my behavior, and it wasn’t until I was readmitted (a few weeks after my release) that they realized the extent to which my “medically-induced psychosis” had influenced my behavior. (One of the palliative care nurses confided in me that she’d assumed I was just a bitch.)
So yeah, the idea of being abandoned to that kind of suffering and ultimately left to die of shock both terrifies and angers me.