When I was a little girl, I wanted to be a black man. I also wanted to be blind, because: Geordi LaForge.
When I was seven years old, I wanted to be a little boy. I called myself ‘Mark’, and my parents let me get a butch haircut and dress in flannel. (Don’t ask me to explain their reasoning.)
By age eight, I was some kind of genderless alien from the far reaches of our solar system. (Not joke; birthday cake read “Happy Birthday Zoing”.)
By age nine, I had transitioned back to female because I wanted to be a tattooed biker chick named Skull. But the only person who actually called me that was a second grader named T-Bone. (Also not joke.)
I eventually decided I wanted to be an Amazon. I just didn’t want to suffer the company of other females.
So if Cory Booker chooses to identify as Spartacus, Clarence Thomas needs to BACK THE FUCK OFF. 😤
Facebook keeps bugging me to set up a fundraiser even though my next birthday is another year away. So here’s my effing fundraiser:
Go to this site and donate all your money to this wonderful gentleman who is working to spread global awareness about the greatest threat humanity has ever faced.
If you fail to participate in my un-birthday fundraiser, I’ll just have to assume you’re one of THEM.