FACEBOOK: Captain Raptor


I would like to go on record as officially endorsing the children’s book Captain Raptor and the Space Pirates. It’s like Jurassic Park meets Star Trek, with just the right touches of Star Wars and Heavy Metal F.A.K.K.2.  If you are a science fiction geek with children of your own, then this book is for you — and quite possibly for your offspring as well.

Unless they only go in for crap like the Super Samurai Power Rangers, in which case you should go off to the can and read the damned book by yourself.  Just try not to let those hot tears streaming down your cheeks smear the ink as you turn the pages and wonder which of those failed experiments involving time travel or positron emission or love robots was responsible for the damage to your sperm.

And to think your mother assumed you were simply masterbating in there.

Three Talons Up:
) ) )

Life on Earth


“Our planet is four and a half billion years old.  There has been life on this planet for nearly that long.  Three point eight billion years.  The first bacteria.  And, later, the first multicellular animals, then the first complex creatures, in the sea, on the land.  Then the great sweeping ages of animals — the amphibians, the dinosaurs, the mammals, each lasting millions upon millions of years.  Great dynasties of creatures arising, flourishing, dying away.  All this happening against a background of continuous and violent upheaval, mountain ranges thrust up and eroded away, cometary impacts, volcanic eruptions, oceans rising and falling, whole continents moving…  Endless constant and violent change…  Even today, the greatest geographic feature on the planet comes from two great continents colliding, buckling to make the Himalyan mountain range over millions of years.  The planet has survived everything, in its time.  It will certainly survive us.”

— Ian Malcolm

FACEBOOK: Raptors vs. Zombies


Had a dream last night that I was trying to get into Jurassic Park — in the rain — only I’d forgotten my wallet.  Not sure if this is a disappointment or a relief.

Velociraptor dreams are cool.  I’m surprised no one’s ever made a movie entitled, “Velociraptors on a Plane.”  That right there sums up about half my dreams from adolescence.

Or how about, “Raptors vs. Zombies?”