FACEBOOK: Comrade Valentine’s Day

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ATTENTION COMRADES:

Celebration is a civic duty! Citizens are reminded that deviation from centrally-planned, voluntary associations will NOT be tolerated. Citizens accused by Party members of failing to comply with this state-sanctioned, secular observation in recognition of our class brother Comrade Valentine’s struggle against bourgeois oppression (including those who neglect to meet current enthusiasm quotas prescribed by the Workers’ Committee for Public Celebration) will be swiftly executed along with their families and livestock.

❤️ HAPPY COMRADE VALENTINE’S DAY!!! ❤️

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FACEBOOK: Politicians

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Whenever some politician begins an appeal to time-honored tradition and the collective judgement of the American People, all that follows for me is a dial tone.

Just once I’d love to hear someone appeal to the time-honored traditions of slaughtering one’s enemy, raping his wife, enslaving his children, and devouring his livestock.  That guy would definitely get my vote, because at least I’d know he was consistent.

(Note to self: avoid making enemies.)