FACEBOOK: Madonna is a Pussy Hat


As amusing as I find the idea of Secret Service investigating Madonna, no good could possibly come of it.

While a *normal* human being would be appropriately chastised by the experience and undoubtedly think twice before ever again making such a stupid comment before millions of potential witnesses, Madonna thrives on this sort of attention. You know she’s just going to end up writing some ridiculous book about how political persecution gave her PTSD, and then go on to draw idiotic parallels between modern-day America and Nazi Germany — all while continually reminding her readers that she is, in fact, a Kabballist. Who believes in LOVE. And healing crystals.

Madonna isn’t a threat to anything more than good taste. I mean, what the hell is she going to do — show up to the White House in her rocket bra?

FACEBOOK: Hollywood Underverse


SCIENTOLOGY: the result of one man’s glimpse into The Threshold during an acid trip.

NECROMONGER FAITH: the result of Xenu leading all of the Hollywood votaries to said Threshold and into the Underverse beyond.

NECROMONGER: a B-list celebrity or movie extra lacking sufficient liquid capital to cover Xenu’s Final Auditing Fee, yet still too heavily invested to Take a Bow and give Kabbalah a decent go.