Endless Forms Most Beautiful


Since I’ve pretty much been living under a rock for the past four years, I’ve missed out on a lot of new albums.  (I’ve missed out on a lot of things, but that’s beside the point.)

Which is why I’ve only recently gotten around to Nightwish’s Endless Forms Most Beautiful.  Can’t say I’m a huge fan of the Floor Jansen vocals, but the fact that the Deluxe Version includes instrumentals of EVERY SONG on the album is freakin’ awesome.  Seriously, it sounds amazing.  Consider:

Support Your Local Blacksmith


Korpiklaani is a band I keep very close to my heart because their music reaffirms my sense of existence and man’s place in the world while drawing attention to the important social issues of our time.

Like the role of blacksmiths in modern society.

Blacksmiths have been responsible for more human progress than all the hashtags and prayer-shares combined.

Support your local blacksmith.

The Prophecy of Marco Hietala


The following has been translated from the ancient runes of the recently discovered Epic Edda, one of the few remaining written records of the lost Nordic civilization of Metallivaltio*:

He emerged From the Void of Time and Dust to be Born Into the Light in a State of Grace, Breathing Fire and weeping Tears of Steel.

Pharao, we call him, and his worshipers–his Descendants of Power–are The Chosen ones. Tarot is our method of divination.

“Follow Me Into Madness!” he has commanded. “I’m Here! Be Born Into the Flame! Live Hard, Die Hard; There is No Return. Do You Wanna Live Forever?”

His symbol is a single Rose on the Grave.

Before the Skies Come Down the Crows will Fly Black, led by the Rider of the Last Day with his Wings of Darkness. The Tides will answer to his Spell of Iron as will all Things That Crawl At Night. And then, Calling Down the Rain, he will usher in The End of Everything.

* This “Metal Republic” only recently came to the attention of archaeologists after four warriors were (by way of sorcery) transported to modern-day Finland and mistaken for a metal band by a group of Japanese tourists. The leader of these bloodthirsty warriors has since proclaimed himself a Northern King alongside Marco Hietala, who is believed to be the current avatar of the Pharao-God mentioned in the above passage. Cults of Marco-Worship are now emerging across the globe.

FACEBOOK: Iron May’n



••••: “May’n, May’n.”

Me: “What?”

••••: “I want May’n!”

Me: “I don’t understand…”

•••• [getting impatient]: “I want May’n!”

Me: “Maiden?”

•••• [nodding]: “May’n.”

Me: “…Iron Maiden??”

••••: “Iron May’n.  I want Iron May’n.”

My dad freaked out when I told him about •••• requesting “Iron May’n.”  He said Iron Maiden isn’t appropriate music for a boy his age.  I asked what was inappropriate about them.  Not knowing a damn thing about Maiden, he replied, “You can’t understand anything they’re saying.”

I’m sorry, you name for me just ONE Iron Maiden song in which you can’t understand the lyrics!  Bruce Dickinson is like the Frank Sinatra of metal.