Mommyish Takes on RIE Parenting

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At last!  RIE Parenting makes its way over to Mommyish.  Naturally, I had to dig up and share a link to RegardingBaby.org:

This RIE blogger and self-proclaimed parenting specialist is fostering her niece, whose parents “couldn’t take care of her” — and apparently, neither can she.  She denies the baby toys, insists that tummy time is grossly disrespectful, and has video clips of the baby girl at 7 months behaving like a 2-month-old, and then again at 11.5 months just beginning to combat-crawl.  The baby is now seventeen months old and but appears to have the motor development of baby half that age.

What I don’t understand is how ALWAYS placing an infant onto its back (even to play!) and hindering its development is supposed to be respectful.  And denying an infant or toddler developmentally-appropriate toys (especially one who is already significantly delayed!) isn’t a “parenting philosophy” — it’s straightforward child neglect.

Here’s a clip of the baby “during an hour long play session in which R., who is five months old, peacefully and contentedly explored and manipulated a piece of wax paper, forever challenging the notion that babies get easily bored”:


EDIT: Someone on Mommyish has taken exception to my “picking on” Lisa (i.e., the blogger and daughter-in-law of RIE’s founder), arguing that there could be reasons behind the child’s developmental delays which have nothing to do with REI.  As I pointed out to her:

I’ve said it before about Attachment Parenting, and the same holds true for RIE: “If a baby has a developmental delay, that’s unfortunate.  If the delay happens as a result of poor parenting, even more so.  But if the delay is clearly caused by a parenting philosophy, that’s just unforgivable.”

Jean-Luc Picard Downvotes AP-ing

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This article is beautiful, and the fact that people are continuing to comment on it sixteen months later really says a lot:

Babies Are Assholes:
The Problem With Attachment Parenting

(Cross-posted in the comments.)

*Time to brag* My kid (now four) hit every one of his milestones early.  He began rolling onto his tummy at eight weeks, tummy-creeping at ten, began crawls up on hands and knees at 4.5 months, sitting independently at five, took his first steps at eight months, and was able to walk alongside me by the time he was ten months old.

The secret? From the day I brought him home, I KEPT MY KID ON THE FLOOR for as long as he would tolerate.  I’m talking five to ten minutes stretches as a newborn, several times a day, which increased to twenty to thirty minute periods by the time he was three months old.  By four months, if he wasn’t sleeping, eating, bathing, having his diaper changed, or being transported, he could be found happily playing on the floor.

When my kid fell, he’d first look to me before deciding how to react.  I discovered early on that if I kept my cool, he would not cry.  To this day, my heart swells with pride whenever I see a “sensitive child” run crying to their mommy over the tiniest bump or fall.  My kid simply dusts himself off and keeps playing.

I can’t help but be disgusted by parents (as you’ve pointed out, usually women who can claim membership to one “mom’s club” or another) who behave as if it’s perfectly normal for their “wonderfully attached” 11-month-old to not yet be mobile, often hiding behind the excuse that “crawling isn’t even a milestone.”  (Uh, really?)  Far worse are the ones who claim that tummy-time is somehow “disrespectful” to infants and should be avoided at all costs.  These are the parents of children who seldom walk before the age of two.  And this new trend of “extended dry-nursing” is borderline child abuse.

They say some babies hit their milestones faster than others, and I suppose this is true.  If a baby has a developmental delay, that’s unfortunate.  If the delay happens as a result of poor parenting, even more so. But if the delay is clearly caused by a parenting philosophy, that’s just unforgivable.

“Respectfully Parenting” an Infant

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http://www.regardingbaby.org/2013/02/21/tummy-time-babys-way

The woman claims to be an early childhood specialist and is very much pro-infant/newborn “rights,” only treating them with “respect and dignity” seems to entail neglecting them horribly.  No tummy time, on the back ALL of the time (even to play), no toys — she’s even experimented upon her own niece, who was evidently removed from her parents’ home and placed in foster care because they “couldn’t take care of her.”  There are video clips of this baby at 7 months behaving like a 2-month-old… and then again at 11.5 months beginning to combat-crawl.