My kid’s taken to calling me “Elastigirl” because: Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome.
In regard to my stretchy skin:
“Look on the bright side: People can play with you. I don’t mean play with you like you’re a person. I mean play with you like you’re a thing.”
My kid says the damnedest things. 😐
MY KID: “Be careful if you see a black guy.”
MY KID: “With purple eyes. He teleports. [pause] In Minecraft. He’s the boss.”
Playing LEGO LOTR with my kid.🎮 (Terrible game, by the way.) 👎
My kid runs off to chase a fish, 🐟and I’m stuck climbing to the top of some fucking mountain. 🌋
I get up there, only to find myself under attack by this giant fiery 🔥dude — and my sword ⚔️ is out of ammo. 😧
Meanwhile, my kid’s still chasing after the fish. 🙄
“What the hell am I supposed to do?!” I ask. 😬
“Survive,” he tells me. 😐
My kid gives the damnedest advice. 🤨
I just reassigned my child from cis white male to black genderfluid lesbian. The bat mitzvah is next Wednesday.
Why Men Are Refusing to Work With Women:
When Childhood Meets Feminism:
I’m just going to have my kid start identifying as a girl.
He’ll be safer this way.
“Quit blocking my uncle’s face,”
I told them.