My Kid Says the Damnedest Things

0

(01/03/18):

“Some people think Peppermint Patty is a girl.”


Watching a video about mammals (01/10/18):

“Aaaah, Mommy!  That sheep just POOPED OUT ANOTHER ONE!”


(02/08/18):

“How come everybody wants to mindhack Captain Picard?”


Playing with lego starships (04/06/18):

“Captain, there’s a space-time continuum!”

“Oh, no! Prepare to open fire!”


(06/28/18):

“So how come [relative] is getting a colonoscopy?  He lose his keys or something?”


(08/07/18):

“I don’t think Grandma has any money.  I think she depends on Grandpa.  I think she’s using him to get groceries.”

TRANSLATION: “Grandma never carries cash, and Grandpa went grocery shopping last week because Grandma hurt her foot.”


(08/14/18):

“Don’t you lose your kidneys when you give birth?  Or is it when you get married?”


(08/22/18):

“I’m not just good; I’m frickin’ good.”


(08/22/18):

“They should sell lives at the store.  I’m talking about immortality, not slavery.”


Grandpa goes over a speed bump, instead of around it (08/23/18):

“And he faces it like a man!”


(08/23/18):

“Do you know what I’m gonna get you for your next birthday, Grandma?  A life.”


(09/09/18):

“If I was a prisoner, I’d want to be alone in my bed.”

Advertisements

My Kid Said the Damnedest Things

0

(10/26/13):

“Do you like Star Trek?  I wanna watch Star Trek.  I’m gonna go poop first, and then we can watch Star Trek.”


(06/24/2014):

“Where did I come from? Did you build me?”


(11/03/2014):

“Is Christopher Columbus a pirate or something?”


(01/23/2015):

“That’s okay; I’ll just pee in the shower.”


After watching 2001 A Space Odyssey (08/18/15):

“I loved that movie! But why did the aliens turn that guy into a zombie baby at the end?”


(12/17/15):

“People say I look just like you, so that means I’m a Dude Looks Like a Lady!”


(06/18/2016):

“When I grow up, I’m going to be a superhero.  I’m going to call myself THE FLASHER.”


(04/24/17)

“I’m not responsible for my bad behavior because I’m farting.”


On Moby Dick (08/20/17):

“How do you bring a whale to justice?”


(09/29/17):

“Are hippies people?”