Mixed feelings about this RE2 remake, which is reportedly in the works once more. On the one hand, the notion of any remake always leaves me feeling queasy (unless it involves Karl Urban), and the PS1 original boasted the most brilliantly-satisfying video game storyline in the entire history of our species (times infinity-plus-one). It would kill me to witness the sanctity of its plot violated for the sake of better graphics and a bit of additional content.

On the other hand, the ’02 GameCube REmake was so freaking delicious, I wanted to have 1000 of its babies. (And still do.) If Capcom thinks they can pull this one off on the level of the GC REmake, I will magnanimously grant them both my permission and my blessing.

On the third hand (which protrudes from my left flank, William-Birkin style), the fact that they plan to recast ALL the voice actors is unsettling. Who can conceive of Claire Redfield sine the vocal croons of Alyson Court? Or — in this day and age — a better LSK than Matt Mercer? Surely the citizens of Raccoon City deserve better.

FACEBOOK: Epic Dream


Epic dream last night:

Demonic creatures of mercurial morphology fond of cutting themselves with glass had infiltrated The City. My objective was to track them down and eliminate them, armed only with some type of derringer (which might not even have been loaded), explosive sunglasses (evidently multi-use), and stilletto (literally, stilletto) heels. My only allies were a grappling gun and some big Amazon of a Dredd-style traffic Judge who took a while to realize that The Law had bigger problems than my weaving a stolen hoverbike between lanes.

Think Ada Wong vs. The Ghosts of Mars in Silent Hill, peppered with bits of Judge Dredd and Les Miserables.

The weird part is that these sado-masochistic demons communicated in what I took to be Russian. But I suppose that’s what comes of reading Tom Clancy before bed.

FACEBOOK: Killer Robots Part II


When evil corporations dabble in bio-organic weapons technology, no one wins.

Which is why both houses of Congress ought to pass a resolution declaring that the U.S. will NOT stand idly by while B.O.W.s continue falling into the clutches of evil corporations, terrorists, and former Soviet states.

At the very least, such a resolution would vastly elevate us in the eyes of the Japanese (perhaps to the extent that they build us some sort of giant killer-robot guardian — like the Statue of Liberty, only better), send Lil’ Kim (the one in North Korea) scrambling after samples of fictitious video game pathogens, and throw the Kremlin into a state of “disorganization” — because creating a race of genetically-mutated super-soldiers is the primary objective of EVERY Russian science project.