I got a shout out yesterday from Mommyish in new article about sex while breastfeeding. As in at the same time. Here’s a link to the WTF Mombie that helped raise this particular topic:
The following essay, “Into (and out of) the Mouths of Babes” reads like Fifty Shades of Grey for female pedophiles:
I try to resist the pull to fulfill his desires. He craves my attention, my embrace, my gaze, but I want the moment to be mine alone. I am successful only until he says my name. Then my will is gone, and I’m his. “Jessica! Jess!”
Being on a first-name basis with my son made me feel like I was both his equal and his servant—a familiar dynamic. Since the beginning of our relationship, he and I had spent a lot of time breastfeeding. At two, my son’s love affair with my breasts still sizzled. The concept of my body as both mine and the boy’s had long been a challenge for my husband, even before the boy was walking or talking. Or calling out my first name.
His language and cognition had matured by the time he was two, but his desire for my body blurred boundaries, challenging me. It was one thing to be felt up when he was an incoherent blob. But it felt different when he could say to me, “I wanna nurse you, Mommy” and “other side” while trying to wedge his whole arm under my bra and creep his fingers toward my unoccupied nipple, as though this time I might decide I like it instead of telling him, “Move your hand.” I began instinctively to hug my chest, pressing my unsupporting arm against the dormant breast, sometimes cupping myself, or pulling him off to stop the groping.
Nursing used to be the panacea for all ills: hunger, fear, fatigue. By age two, we were on a more predictable schedule, but my son’s eyes would still flash when I got naked like lollipops were taped to my chest. He’d pretend to reach out and coyly tell me he wanted to nurse, just because he could say the words, and then would proceed to ponder my genitalia, fascinated with the embouchure required to say “vagina.” His mouth played with different tones and tempos for the word. I both laughed and cringed when he began toggling between the v-word and “Jessica,” whispering as though both three-syllable words were magical mantras holding the key to a delicious mystery. Perhaps they are.
I don’t often say this, but this woman needs to be dragged from her home, paraded naked through the streets, and stoned as a whore. Or else those children should be taken away from her pedophile ass and adopted into a family that isn’t going to sexually exploit them. The fact that her husband would permit such behavior has me wondering if he isn’t diddling the kiddos as well. WTF Mombie?! *shudders*
Wow, here’s a new one: extended nursing a toddler and/or preschooler who has never before been breastfed. These are children who were not nursed in infancy, yet they are suddenly finding nipples being thrust into their mouths as their brand-new mothers instruct them to suck and swallow. The lactivists call this nursing; I call it sexual abuse.
When I first heard about this relatively new phenomenon, I figured a couple of sexual predators must have weaseled their way into the foster care system, but that CPS would soon nab these monsters and find their victims better homes. Alas, it is apparently legal for a woman to adopt a child and then stick her nipple in its mouth as a means of “bonding.” Not only is this practice considered a legitimate form of breastfeeding, but La Leche League actually encourages it. (Really, why the hell am I surprised?)
Here are a couple examples from the La Leche League forums:
This woman clearly has issues. Infertility can be a painful ordeal, especially for women (and men) who dream of having biological children. It can even become a source of embarrassment for those who feel as if their infertility somehow makes them “less” of a man or a woman — if not straight-out inferior to those who are able to reproduce. (NOTE: these people have managed to reproduce.) Yet this woman’s inferiority complex evidently runs so deep that she lashes out against ‘the normals’ in her introductory post — or as she so eloquently describes them, “fertile/nursing-oops we’re pregnant again-oblivious-insensitive-babies-popping-out-all-over-the-place-mamas.” Yeah, I’m sure the mamas of La Leche League are just lining up to become OP’s friend.
Look, it’s one thing to breastfeed your adopted baby. Breastfeeding a newborn you carried yourself can be difficult enough, so I can only imagine how much more of a challenge it would be to induce and maintain a steady milk supply without the benefit of postpartum hormones. Women who successfully feed their infants this way ought to be admired for their dedication. But to induce lactation purely for the sake of “bonding” with an older child?! If this woman wanted a baby, she should have adopted a fucking baby. Of course, anyone who believes bonding with a three-year-old requires sticking a nipple in their mouth probably doesn’t belong adopting anyway.
Make no mistake. There is nothing inherently wrong with nursing a twelve-month-old. Babies require either breast milk or formula as their primary source of nutrition during the latter six months of infancy, and you could hardly expect an exclusively breastfed baby to be weaned overnight. But to initiate a “nursing relationship” with a twelve-month-old (premature or not) for non-nutritive purposes is indeed sexual exploitation.
This woman clearly doesn’t give a damn whether the child had been previously breastfed, nor does she care enough to find out. All that matters here is that she wants to breastfeed.
Once again, these are children who were not previously breastfed, — children who do not require breast milk (or formula) as a source of nutrition — being told to latch onto their new mommy’s boob, stimulate her nipple with their tongue, suck, swallow, and repeat. While the majority of these children have been thrust into completely new environments with total strangers — which is certainly traumatic enough without being sexual abused — a some of these kids have been living with their families for years. Case in point: (Click to enlarge.)
This little girl came to them at five months. She was adopted two and a half years later at the age of three. But before you conclude that this poor child must be a recently-adopted three-year-old, consider this woman’s lament: “My daughter is interested in nursing and I wish I’d started sooner.”
First of all, how does a child of any age just suddenly become interest in nursing — let alone an autistic child with severe emotional problems? Moreover, while this woman is intentionally vague on the age of the child — “Emotionally she’s about 3. Intellectually she’s about 6. I think it’s safe to conclude that this kid is at least six years old and possibly older; The child in the picture, whom I am assuming to be “DD” looks to be about eight or nine years old… and Mom hasn’t even logged into her account since a month after this post was made. 😯
If her three-year-old were emotionally three and intellectually six, you’d think this woman would be celebrating. (But possibly still wanting to pop out a boobie in place of Champagne.)
Alas, it gets worse. Much, much worse. Here is a link to the original thread. This is just a taste (sorry!) of the advice she is offered:
Mom2Mom: “…I don’t know how I would get domperidone without a dr. but what about nursing minus the actual milk if you can’t? you could have a special chair or something and ask her if she wants to nurse and maybe hold her like she’s nursing or like when someone “bottle nurses”, even skin to skin or whatever you both feel good about.”
SundayCrepes: “I agree about trying the nursing without milk… I am currently nursing my 3 year old (she turned 3 last week.) I stopped taking the dom in March. I don’t know if I’m making any milk at this time. We nurse throughout the day.”
tiffani: I comfort nurse my adopted 2 and 4 year old kiddos (home with us at 16 mos and 3.5 yrs) and have no milk, but they enjoy the experience.
The award for best lactating sexual predator goes to Tiffani for initiating a dry-nursing relationship with an adopted toddler AND a preschooler. The fact that she managed to get one for each boob is simply astounding. Here’s hoping you’ve since made it onto the Sex Offender Registry, Tiff.
Is breastfeeding a baby while having sex an acceptable practice? Some Babycenter members seem to think so:
I mean, come on! The reason for feeding babby some of that super-milky-miracle goodness is so far removed from sex that assuming any sort of connection between the two is just plain ridiculous. The sex needed to continue in peace, but it also wouldn’t have been fair to the hungry babby to make it simply lay watching and waiting. (Attachment parenting at its finest!)
Besides, sex while breastfeeding isn’t generally a planned encounter; it just sort of happens. Kinda like going home with a married man you met at a bar. And nursing relationships are totally complicated anyway, so who are YOU to judge how people get their “intimacy” on?
Sex and breastfeeding are both normal and natural — so they would seem to go hand in hand:
And it’s not as if the baby is going to remember anything when it’s older:
Besides, threesomes with the baby needn’t involve crazy doggy-style sex; most of the time, it’s just gentle spooning. Breastfeeding sex can be a wonderful, nurturing act and for both mom and dad. (And for babby too, I guess.)
And it’s not as if you’d ever make him pull out so you could scratch your nose:
You see, every family does things differently. Different families have different needs, and it’s just plain ignorant to judge others for having sexual trysts with their babies:
The baby probably won’t remember anyway, but on the off-chance that it does, wouldn’t being engaged in a threesome with its parents make the most charming memory?
Even the “experts” evidently recommend this wonderful family bonding experience…
…though it is not generally recommended with extended breastfeeders:
All the same:
Okay; I’m done now.
If parents who post nude photographs of their babies and children on Facebook are going to claim that newborn “apricot balls,” “hamburger,” or pictures of a spread-eagled baby girl aren’t sexual, then they really ought to quit sexually objectifying their children. “Look at my little Nevaeh’s vagina! Isn’t it cute as a button! And she’s so gosh-darn flexible. Her future sex partners are sure going to be pleased!”
Unless they’re actually flattered by the notion of an Internet pedophile fapping to pictures of their babies. Come to think of it, I can’t think of a better LEGAL way to share softcore child porn than what these parents are doing.
I suppose the only thing worse is when they put this shit up on YouTube. Caution: this video is nothing but 3:03 of newborn vag, and I’m posting it solely to drive home my point.