FACEBOOK: Teh Motherland


I’ve always gotten a kick out of seeing ••••••• County portrayed in works of fiction, even though it’s pretty much the same damned deal each time, with only slight variances in detail: a suburb of shadowy goverment conspiracies, classified weapons programs and viral epidemics, where the illegal aliens who tend the lawns hail from places a LOT farther away than El Salvador (and even less hospitable to human life).

But is this seriously how the rest of the world sees us?  And why doesn’t anyone ever factor in the traffic?

No fucking way Cancer Man gets to cruise down •• and make it on time to his 9:00 meeting with ET — ha! ha, i say! — and I don’t care how many millions are dead or infected with what-have-you: THERE WILL ALWAYS BE ••••••• TRAFFIC.  Anyone who’s ever lived here and witnessed the mass hysteria induced by a chance-of-snow forecast (“hey guys, let’s all leave work at the same time to stock up on milk and gasoline!”) will have to concede this point.