Lindsey Graham is Having a Wonderful Time

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Lindsey parties with protesters, Paris Hilton — even a velociraptor!  What will Lindsey do next?



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Letter to the Internet

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Dearest Internetz,

I’m not entirely comfortable with where this relationship is headed. As much as I enjoy our time together, I feel like you are a less-than-positive influence on me.

Or perhaps it’s the other way around.

Let’s cool things down a bit, shall we? Especially with the Jesus memes. Because Google Drive only comes with five free gigs.

Intimately yours,
Teleute

FACEBOOK: Captain Raptor

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I would like to go on record as officially endorsing the children’s book Captain Raptor and the Space Pirates. It’s like Jurassic Park meets Star Trek, with just the right touches of Star Wars and Heavy Metal F.A.K.K.2.  If you are a science fiction geek with children of your own, then this book is for you — and quite possibly for your offspring as well.

Unless they only go in for crap like the Super Samurai Power Rangers, in which case you should go off to the can and read the damned book by yourself.  Just try not to let those hot tears streaming down your cheeks smear the ink as you turn the pages and wonder which of those failed experiments involving time travel or positron emission or love robots was responsible for the damage to your sperm.

And to think your mother assumed you were simply masterbating in there.

Three Talons Up:
) ) )

FACEBOOK: Raptors vs. Zombies

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Had a dream last night that I was trying to get into Jurassic Park — in the rain — only I’d forgotten my wallet.  Not sure if this is a disappointment or a relief.

Velociraptor dreams are cool.  I’m surprised no one’s ever made a movie entitled, “Velociraptors on a Plane.”  That right there sums up about half my dreams from adolescence.

Or how about, “Raptors vs. Zombies?”