They oughtta make this into a porno. Just have some big ugly dude wearing a cape and the HBO logo force himself upon a different character each week.
It’s what inevitably happens with Vertigo television adaptations anyway.
Having a first grader in the house sure is tops, baby. I mean, who else is about to listen to me lecture ad nauseum on Batman villains or be blown away by the suggestion that absent the paternal guidence of one Alfred Pennyworth, Bruce Wayne could have easily become Gotham City’s answer to Lex Luthor?
If I didn’t have a kid of my own, I’ve no doubt the local vice squad would be keeping tabs on me for loitering in front of elementary schools: “Pssst… hey, kid… you like Batman? Huh? The Dark Knight, yeah? Ever read a pre-Final Crisis Detective Comic? No, don’t look ’round, don’t look ’round.